<3 Salisbury

(Does anyone in Salisbury read this?)

To begin, I have a confession: I have spent a good deal of time this summer thinking about transferring schools. I do not know where, just somewhere that is not the University of Chicago. This reasoning may sound ridiculous, but really it is the school's ridiculous schedule that has turned me off to the entire institution.

To rush an entire quarter of my education, finishing the year two and a half weeks early, is insanity. First of all, I did not have time to process the fact that, hey, I just finished my first year of college! I am one to generally remain calm as events unfold, but I need to take the time to think/journal/meditate about what has just occurred, or I become emotionally numb and confused, incapable of feeling much of anything until I later explode quite randomly. I never processed my first year. And once I got to Virginia, I feel that I missed out on some of the socialization and emotional processing that went on during training, because between sessions I was rushing back to my room to study for the final exam that I still needed to take the following week, instead of hanging out on the porch. Then when I got back home, I needed some time to think, but I found myself drowning in that time waiting for school to start, bored and still emotionally numb--sitting and doing nothing but thinking would have been torture, and I had all kinds of time to do it, so I did not think at all.

In a nutshell, UChicago's deviant schedule made working for ASP difficult, both logistically and emotionally.

But I still, as always, find myself in love with ASP, setting it far above any school on my very short list of fantastic-amazing-incredible experiences that make me feel alive. Having rushed so much to leave, I felt very little connection with the school--it has seemed to me nothing but an obstacle. As a result, I have thought and said pretty much every negative thing that there is to be said about the school. Not all of them were untrue: theory is not always practical, socialization can be difficult, maybe fun really does die... it really is difficult to find groups of people with similar interests, but then, the failing in that area is more my own fault than the school's. But I digress--the point is, I was hatin'.

Today, however, was anything but hateful. I visited the incredible Salisbury House to help with decorations, and it was ten kinds of a good time. After dinner, I was hugging everyone goodbye, and suddenly I felt extremely content. Blue skies, silver trumpets, sunshine, rainbows, all that crap. What the heck? On the ride home, I turned off the radio and thought about how everything seems to be lined up so perfectly right now--my house-mates are incredible people, the campus is gorgeous, my room is even more fantastic than I imagined, and even the house theme is ten times better than I anticipated. Thank you to everyone who was there for a really incredible day.

This burst of good feeling towards my school makes me very excited for next week when I (finally!) get to move in. But in terms of next summer, I have to wonder if my suddenly strengthened attachment to my school will make my life more difficult--at some point, I may have to chose between UChicago and ASP. I do not think I can do both (although I certainly intend to try) and ASP is still something I am in love with.

So while today brought me this incredible warm-fuzzy "OMG UChicago" feeling, I still have a lot of figuring out to do, and I think attachment is going to make future choices more costly, like the $20 parking + $9.89 lunch I spent today despite the beauty of everything else. I may be grounded in two places all at once. I have no more conclusion to offer.

<3 ASP
<3 Salisbury

ASP + Salisbury =