Who would have thought that I would ever feel like a people-person? Not me!
I guess this is not the first of the “who would have thought?” statements I’ve made since arriving in Peru, and it’s probably not the last. Who would have thought I’d bathe in a river (and then with a bucket heated in the sun, and then in a cold shower, and then a HOT shower, and then get demoted back to bucket baths)? Who would have thought that the manner and frequency of my personal grooming habits alone would tell a story (of too many host families, mostly)?
Anyway. I must have some love in my heart for the human race, since I thought it would be a good idea to fly down here and try to help its progress. But I have never (ever) thought, “Hey! Social butterfly here, time to surround myself with crowds of adoring fans and huggle them to death!” (ahem… Katherine…;). I like certain persons, I don’t… actually like people. They have cooties or something.
Which is why I am pleasantly surprised at how much I already love my new host family.
In case you haven’t been diligently keeping track of my movements, this is host family number four. I had two in my first site, Buena Vista—my first host dad passed away and his wife moved back to Lima, so I had to move. Then things in Buena Vista weren’t avanzar-ing and I moved to Viru, the provincial capital about an hour from Buena Vista, in early July (although shortly afterwards spent almost a month traveling, so I have only actually been in site here for about a month).
My new host family was alright at the beginning—at first I was ready to forgive them anything for their hot shower! That is, until I realized that they didn’t usually turn it on for me, and in general were nice but not very interested in really making me part of the family. They managed to hide their washing machine from me for almost a month, too. Now, I’m a Peace Corps Volunteer. I do not expect hot showers or washing machines. But the fact that they had them and didn’t want to share, on top of not inviting me to join them for much, made me feel like they didn’t really want me there. Or maybe my host mom did, but not her sister-in-law (who I am 90% sure tried to steal my socks off of the clothesline), or her daughter (who mostly just jumped in with “You’re going to wash that plate and turn off the lights, right?” rather than actually talking to me).
Rather conveniently, then, another family member is moving back into the house and needed my bedroom (ex-husband, I believe, but that doesn’t make much sense?). So, time to move again!
I will be honest and say that rather than move, I considered quitting completely (and am still considering leaving after December). For one, moving is freaking stressful. Additionally, despite how much bigger and better Viru is as a site, I am not entirely sure that this is what I want to be doing. At this point, if I’m not happy with my work, it’s not the site—it’s me. Sometimes rather than personal growth, all that is happening to me here is that I am becoming more and more pessimistic and suspicious of people (especially men), and it’s making me even LESS of a people-person!
And do I even like the work? I’m not sure, but if I have to have a job I don’t really want, I’d rather have it back in the States with my friends and family around (and real money might help!). Or I could have a job I do want. I could be working as a paralegal and figuring out if I want to go to law school, which would also be productive, if not thrilling. Or I could be working for another development agency that actually takes development a bit more seriously. Peace Corps is apparently way more about Goal 2 and 3, which is not why I applied (remember how I don’t actually like people but still want to help them? Cultural exchange is great, but as a non-people-person, I’m much more interested in Goal 1--the projects).
Or is this a job I do want? Once upon a time, Peace Corps was all I wanted, but now I waver. I have a whole list of reasons to stay and another of reasons to go, and I read them almost daily (sometimes 3 times) and go back and forth and have started adding tally marks next to my preferred choice every day to see how I feel in the long run. A big deciding factor for me is going to be how things go with my new host family.
Which is why I am very excited to report, 3 days after my move, how well it is going so far! I’m living with my host mom, Juliana, her mother, and 2 sisters in their twenties, Lourdes and Joely. And of course 2 dogs, once of which is an enormous and blind Alaskan husky that tends to walk into chairs. He’s adorable.
I’m so happy to feel like I’m (finally, after almost a year!!!) making some Peruvian friends, things that previously would have driven me absolutely insane (like my host mom insisting on walking me to the combi this morning, or in general my host sisters walking me everywhere) are actually really awesome—I feel like they really want me to be part of their family and I want to spend time with them. This has had the effect of making me want to spend time with people in general. I could have spent all day in San Jose passing out fliers about the new Comite de Limpieza Publica and telling everyone about the garbage collection happening tomorrow, too bad Rosalia had to get back to her kids. I’m psyched to go visit Adolfo and Barrantes at the municipality in a few minutes and figure out what time the garbage truck is leaving for San Jose tomorrow.
Tomorrow, if the driver (who is apparently my neighbor but I haven’t met him yet) is awesome and lets me ring the bell on the truck… z0mg I might die!
Who would’ve thought? Today I feel like a people-person and it feels good :)
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